Love.

What I love about kiah rIght now... I love her milk breath Her little fingers that grab my shirt or her blanket Her liPs The noises she makes when she sleeps Her eyes that look right into mine How she is a gift to share with family Her eye lashes When she snOrts When she breathes When she jumPs at loud noises and throws her legs and arms in the air How she travels so peacefully Her wild hair She glows with beauty Her cough when she drinks too fast

1 MONTH

Kiah was 1 MONTH YESTERDAY and i can not even believe how much she is growing and changing. she and i had the best most peaceful day ever. stephen was out to soccer practice with some of the birchcroft boys early so i was able to have mommy time with her. she usually has a window of time in the mornings when she knows its time to get up and out of her bassinet but still wants to snooze around. so most of the time, if he has the time, she will get into bed with stephen for a good hour or two and lay belly to belly. SHE LOVES IT. WE LOVE IT. THERE IS NOTHING MORE WONDERFUL. yesterday, I GOT IT. it just so special to hear her breath, watch her sleep, feel her arms along your sides, watch her lips. ahhh. then it was time for a bath after all the traveling we had been doing. then i cuddled her up. fed her. and put her in the car to go on our FIRST GROCERY SHOPPING TRIP. we went to target worshipping JESUS in the car, i parked on the upper level so i wouldn't be self conscious if she resisted getting into my new ERGO CARRIER from the car seat. she did great. right in, and right into a peaceful sleep. i also wore my new traveling hat the i picked up at an urban outfitters in atlanta for $10. i was on an adventure with kiah. i walked around with my free hands picking up a few things so that we will survive until we leave on wednesday. so many people comment about how beautiful she is. i really want to hear from the Lord as to what i can say back to them to let them know its because her creator has beautiful hands....well, maybe i got it. that just came to me. i think i could say that. so she was just so so so great and peaceful. i did all the shopping. came home to kids who helped me bring in all the groceries. made stephen lunch. got a shower. took her to the hip doctor. he said he could already tell the harness is doing its job. and the net time we see him will be when we get back from england and it will already be 4 weeks. Jesus is making the time go by so fast. then we went to our friends house for dinner and kiah took a nap through dinner so we could eat with our friends. she is a great girl. a great daughter.

grammy.papa.

stephen and i have been in stuart, va visiting kiahs grammy and papa. it has been a great get-a-way after such a long week of doctor stuff, the fire, the youth tour and all that comes with birchcroft life in general. we have had lots of hands holding and passing kiah lily which gave me a BIG BREAK. we got here saturday night and have been hanging out until today- tuesday. i swam in the pool and laid in the sun and made homemade ice-cream. life is so slow here. slow and quiet. kiah is almost a month old and every single day i am amazed at how amazing she really is. yesterday she slept on papa for 5 hours after our long hike at fairy stone park. it is such a gift to have a daughter to share with everyone. my brother eric and his son kailer had some quality time with kiah too. my grammy held her and kiah gave her lots of smiles! stephen and i have taken time together to plan out out big trip to ENGLAND next week and to finalize our tickets, get kiah a passport  in atlanta, and to get all our last doctors appointment's rescheduled before we go. this was kiah's first road trip and next week will be a big step up from this 2 hour car ride.

TO DO:

1. buy starbucks instant coffee packets to make it in the tea drinking culture
2. paint my nails of course
3. figure out how to pack for kaih to be ok overseas for 2 weeks
4. wednesday 11:00 appointment in atlanta, ga for kiahs passport
5. thursday 2:00 appointment with the hip doctors for kiahs 1 week check in charlotte, nc
6. friday 8:45 pediatrician 1 month check up,     11:00 OBGYN appointment for me,       afternoon haircuts for stephen and i with our friend elise 
7. sunday july 1st- jenna hood meets kiah!
8. monday & tuesday- urban eagles summer camp for boy's
9. wednesday- ENGLAND--- until july 18th

friday.whoot.

stephen's off playing in an eagles scrimmage. so what shall my evening with kiah look like?
let's replay the day.
where to start?
4:30 am walked down stairs to load the coffee maker. is it bad that i am usually ready for my morning coffee by the time i go to bed at night?
went back to sleep.
officially got up at 7:30 and turned the coffee on. kiah was still snoozing so i got a shower.
had a visitor who brought me FLOWERS! i love fresh flowers.
cleaned up the apartment while i had free hands and packed for virginia. we are going to visit my family tomorrow.
met the man who works for BEDS FOR KIDS who brought furniture for the families who lost everything in the fire.
ate cereal with blueberries.
laundry.
went with stephen and kiah to get her birth cirtificate. then drove to the airport to pick up a girl from delaware who is going to brazil on the youth tour and took her to the hotel where everyone is staying. i got to see some girls who went last year with us and played sock wars in the parking lot.
shared a luna bar with stephen. -so hungry- came home and fed kiah.
made a quick and regretful cheese sandwich and now i am typing wishing i hadn't resorted to that. still hungry. missing our delivered dinners!!!
i like time alone with my sweet kiah lily.

hard. harness.

this morning we woke up to such a sunny day. happiness was in the air.
stephen and i just prayed in the yellow room with kiah and then took her dancing.

i have to video tape stephen and i dancing to this with her sometime. it was the best moment of my life!!!
 today was also the day that we were gong to the doctors to find out if kiah would be in a harness for 6 weeks or not to fix her hips. faith filled our hearts and brought us the a place of such belief that Jesus would heal her and we would witness a great miracle to tell everyone about the powerful healing. we were singing and worshipping in the doctors office. i think we were honestly HUNGRY TO SEE GOD IN THIS WAY. we are hungry to see healing the way we KNOW God does heal. we know the goodness and kindness and greatness of Jesus. he is and always will be, even in the midst of our feelings that try to tell us he failed us or that we failed. his love never fails.   the ultra sound showed us that there was still a dislocation after taking this past week to pray over her. this was hard news to hear. wow we cried. i cried. my mothers heart hurt so bad. i just wanted to tell kiah, i'm sorry i'm sorry. but the hardest thing was probably more just that we were so ready to praise Jesus for the miracle and to be able to tell all the doctors about Him and to tell everyone praying for kiah how Jesus is alive and heals miraculously. i have been thirsty for a refreshment in the holy spirit like this. i had thought to mself. we need this. urban eagles needs this. our families need this. our friends need this. something to spark us to push closer to him. but, in that moment, i thought to myself, well. i guess we have to tell everyone that He didn't do it.
i know that was not the right response. i knew we were still going to put our trust in Jesus and praise him like never before and continue honoring Him. in that moment i was upset. but then, we left the doctors office after taking time to collect myself and having learned how to put the harness on and everything. we were NOT ready to go back to birchcroft just yet. we went to one of our secret hide out houses- where the famly has given us a key to. we got there and just wanted to be alone but the house keeper was there. we figured we should still stay there and just tell her what was going on. THIS WAS AMAZING! the house keeper is a holy spirit filled hispanic woman of God who we love so much. she does our laundry quite often actually. she's wonderful. so we walk in and OOOHH MANNN!!! the rivers of heaven overflowed on us. she grabbed our hands and prayed in spanish with all her heart and soul. we were just weeping there in the door way and kiah slept in the car seat in peace below us. the housekeeper prayed for PEACE PEACE PEACE. then she reminded us of so much truth. God used her to destroy all the wandering thoughts i was having and totally fixed my eyes back into the eyes of our precious savior Jesus Christ. wow. peace like never before came over kiah.
seriously she was in a supernatural sleep. i had to wake her up at like 7:30 that night. she had slept from 1:30-7:30. wow. just wow. and she slept great all through the night too!
Jesus is faithful. and when we don't understand we will praise Him.

u are good God    u are good to me

busy.

life has been busy. a blur almost. kiah keeps me on call 24-7 and i am learning things about her all the time. for example, just about 10 seconds ago i laid her down in the bassinet wide awake and crying just so i could step away and go to the bathroom. surprise surprise, i come back and she is quiet an happy!!! laying her there + stepping away= a totally content baby chillin. wow, i wish i had tried this sooner. little did i know, she just didn't want to be held. i guess kiah needs alone time just as much as me. i think she is a lot more like me than i can imagine. i realized this morning when she was crying, while i was ready to get out of the apartment and go to abby's birthday brunch, that kiah was JUST AS READY to get out too. she wasn't crying because she didn't want to go. i believe she was crying because she was just as ready to get out as i was.
she was quiet as soon as stephen and i stepped outside and got into the car.
    stephen is amazing. he wins the best father in the world award.
there have been lots of fun things going on lately and having a baby makes it so difficult to actually go out and be with other people out in public. so many things run through your mind. what if she is hungry, can i nurse her in what i am wearing, what is she cries and i can not sooth her, if i wake her up to go in the car seat will she ever go back to sleep, if i feed her before i go will it put her to sleep or energize her up...and so on and so forth. without stephen and his confidence as a dad, i would be a wreck. he has helped me in the night times, helped me in the day times, helped me in the quite times and helped me in the loud times, helped me in the hungry times and and helped me in the tired times. he is just amazing.
he wanted me to be able to go to abby's birthday dinner on thursday at kickstand but i was nervous to try and take kiah out to a party. he convinced me it would be great and that he would be there to help me. we went and it was all great. a lot of friends were able to see kiah and i for the first time since having her so that was fun. i was able to finally be out and around people again. then, when we all screamed surprise to abby kiah woke up and stephen took her outside to rock her while i was able to spend a little bit of time with my friends again. i was able to get some quality time in, while it actually felt like a date with stephen because we were actually dressed up out somewhere together. i got a burger and fries to-go and stephen got tacos-to-go from loco lime next door and we went home. now-a-days eating dinner is much more complicated. we keep finding ourselves in situations like, when the food is actually hot and ready kiah needs to be fed so then i will go feed her up stairs and stephen will bring the plates of food up to where i am, and then i will make him eat without me because you never know how long its gonna take her to eat and be burped and hopefully put to sleep. then by the time i finish with her, i hand her to him and then i try to reheat my food and eat as fast as i can before something else happens. THANK YOU GOD FOR ALL THE PEOPLE WHO HAVE BROUGHT US MEALS!!! we would be eating cereal every night if it weren't for people bringing dinner to us.
      we are defiantly getting a hang on it all though.
so this morning, after i fed her at 5:30 and got her back in bed by 6, i went and made a pot of coffee, got a shower and had QUITE TIME. i love those times in the morning. then rode with stephen and kiah to the TERRACE CAFE- my new favorite breakfast place- i was able to have brunch with the girls while stephen took kiah out. it was so nice of him!!!
see, he is just the best
charlotte eagles game tonight; i think...

mother-in law to the rescue

this weekend, Stephen's mom, dad and grandmother drove up from FLORIDA to visit and it has been such a great break. yesterday, stephen and i camped out over at the house they are all staying at and watched soccer all afternoon. kiah was amazing. no fussing or uncontrollable crying. just peaceful. i was able to sit out in the sun for the first time on 13 days and really relax. i even fell asleep on the couch while stephens mom held little kiah lily. we are defiantly getting a handle on all this slowly but surely. i can not imagine doing it without Jesus or Stephen. then for dinner we picked up boston market food and sat outside on a patio. it has been so good for us to get out of birchcroft for such long periods of time, especially now since the kids are officially out of school. then this morning, stephen and i woke up and packed our baby in her car seat again to grab some coffee and muffins and head to the greenway for a sunday morning stroll. the weather has been perfect today.  little overcast, breezy and cool. happy. so happy. so thankful to have such a great family on my side and stephens. having my mom visit a few days ago and now having them here has really made me thankful for our awesome family. like i said, i have not had this much free time without the little one in my arms in 13 day. yesterday and today my routine is pretty much every 2-3 hours i feed her for about 15 minutes and then hand her off to auntie(i think this is going to be her grandmother name) pops (Stephen's dads grandfather name) or bebe- Stephen's grandmother. i have been able to eat! they head home tomorrow so i am taking advantage of it all while i can.

abba. daddy time

kiah LOVES daddy time everyday

and so does stephen!

first pediatricians appointment

7lbs .5oz gaining good weight, looking gorgeous 

labor.

this week i did something that i never want to forget about. it was THE MOST amazing, incredible thing i have ever done in my entire life. in my own opinion, labor is not easy or fun. labor is a marathon that goes uphill until the very last stretch. i remember sunday as such an incredible day. stephen and i went to church and praised jesus with tears flowing. a guest speaker was there and really encouraged us in sacrifice. sacrifice has and will continue to be a thread in our relationship and in our life. we had planned out a really nice day together. came home and ate lunch after church, went to the gym to work out a little, and then went on a shopping adventure at the mall with a $50 that stephen's grandpa had mailed us. we mostly just wanted to do a good amount of walking to get me going into labor. that whole day i had felt a few contraction type things but nothing bad at all. by the time we got home i was feeling them just a bit stronger and more often. we made homemade pizzas/calzones for dinner and continued to monitor the contractions. we knew it was coming. that night i went ahead and called my midwife and told her what i had been feeling that day and night. she said i was in the early stage of labor and the best thing i could try to do was to sleep as much as i could through the night and keep timing the contractions. we KNEW we would be going to the hospital the next day! stephen went ahead and packed the car that night. by about 4:30 am i was clocking them coming every 5 minutes. by 5:30 am we got up and showered and kept counting. we called my midwife again and said it was time to come in. WOW! we had no idea what we were getting into. those contractions were NOTHING! at that point, i had no idea what pain was. i couldn't eat. stephen made me a smoothie but i couldn't really drink it. around 8:30 we left birchcroft and headed to the hospital. i called my parents, he called his and mass text messages were flying all over the city sharing that we were finally going to the hospital. we were so excited! laughing our heads off all morning!!! we pulled up, stephen dropped me off, i was wheel chaired inside and up to the 8th floor, while stephen parked the car and brought in our bags. we were put in a suite and GOD blessed us with the perfect nurse and midwife. it was mostly all waiting around until like 10am. i was like 4 cm when the first checked me. we walked and walked around and contractions got more and more intense. then they checked me like 2 hours later and i was like 7-8 cm. i got to have a cherry popsicle around 1:00 pm.

 my parent showed up at the hospital so fast. they had to of been driving like 100 mph from VA.

it was getting hard. i had to stop and take very deep breaths to handle the contractions as we walked around the hallways to get things going. around 2 or 3 that afternoon, THEY BROKE MY WATER. it was kinda cool.
        THEN REAL LABOR BEGAN!!!

by that time i was not talking to anyone, barely had my eyes open as i tried a few ways to continue speeding up the process. went into a warm shower, DEEP BREATHS, birthing ball, DEEP BREATHS, laying on different sides on the bed, deep breaths, leaning over on stephen, DEEP BREATHS. i was completely focused on taking long deep breaths. time was flying by to me. finally, i started to feel that certain pressure that they had been telling me about. i pressure that feels just like you have to have a bowel movement. by that point i had thought to myself so many things.

1. why didn't i get an epidural
2. how in the world do women do this more than once in their lifetime
3. i'm so mad! i have to go through with this and there is no stopping it or going back

than PUSHING CAME! i loved pushing so much! it was finally a way for me to get back at the pain my body had been enduring for the last few hours. i pushed for about 45 minutes and then, with a gigantic door size mirror infront of me, i saw her head com farther and farther out with every push until i knew my next push would do it. i pushed and she flew out! it was the most amazing feeling in the entire world!

happy.

horray for...

1. fitting back into my old shorts this morning
2. coffee oh coffee
3. kiah loving getting her hair washed under the sink
4. a husband who makes sure i take time to eat
5. first pediatricians visit -we passed with flying colors
6. stephen treating me to smoothie king after the pediatricians appointment to celebrate all the great things the nurse told us about how she was doing 
7. kiah gaining back her birth weight in only a few days . mon-7.2 lbs wed-6.11 lbs fri-7.05 lbs
8. good milk coming in
9. having friends bring us delicious meals and visiting to love on kiah with us
10. weeping together with stephen in this new flood of love that comes like the rain, POURIN'
11. and this song!

she has arrived

birthing ball and popsicle by the afternoon

seconds out of my belly

exhausted and happy

first bath

daddys girl for sure

papa

the ride home

after stephen and i gave her her fist bath at home

3 days old